Those Pesky Kids!

We used to not have any worker safety laws. Nobody forced us to put doors on the elevators. If somebody died, so fucking what? We could foul the water so badly rivers caught fire, nobody cared what poisonous garbage we poured in it. We could spew so much poison in the air that you had to roll the windows up driving past our Monsanto plant because of the pain it caused your lungs. We could get the government to wage pointless wars so that gold would pour into our coffers, even having the government draft men to die for our filthy money.
Then those pesky kids came along.
They picketed, demonstrated, voted and wrote letters on paper to their elected representatives. They got the war stopped, damn them, and the draft. They got OSHA so now we have to put doors on our Purina elevators and guard rails. Guard rails, for Christ’s sake! The nerve!
What’s worse, they got the EPA started. Damn them!
But we’ll show ‘em. Now, we’re paying all the federal tax, and they’ve made us actually pay our full-time workers a living minimum wage. But we’ll fix their wagons. All it will take is for us to keep raising the price of the worthless junk the fools buy from us until the minimum wage won’t buy shit, and bracket creep will raise taxes so high everybody will be paying them. Then we’ll shower the dishonest fools in congress with cash and convince them to lower OUR taxes to the point only the poor will pay them.
The best part? We’ll fuck up the education system to the point that their grandchildren in the twenty first century will be too stupid and apathetic and feel too powerless to do a damned thing about it. They’ll be so damned dumb they’ll vote against their own interests. We’ll be BILLIONAIRES!!

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