They say that Santa's coming,
He comes 'round every year.
He comes he'll meet a shotgun slug
'cause he ain't welcome here.
 
Five years ago this Christmas
The fatass came around
With jingle bells and ho ho hos
And looking like a clown.
 
He came in for a landing
As I let out a yawn
My house is pretty little
So he landed on the lawn.
 
I didn't have the time to yell
As he came in through the fog;
He came in fast and and came down hard
And landed on my dog.
 
He looked around all furtive like
As I reached for my gun,
Then jumped in sleigh, yelled �giddie up�
And took off on the run.
 
And so, that fatassed bastard
Better stay away from here
'cause ever since he killed my dog
I got no Christmas cheer.